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The other day, my nephew asked me why I don’t know how to throw a football. 

“I never learned,” I said.

“Why not?” He asked. 

I didn’t have an answer. Well, I had many answers but, as my nephew is only seven years old and super inquisitive, I decided it wouldn’t be wise to continue the conversation. Instead, I let him school me on the right way to play a sport he loves and, to my surprise, I actually learned something. 

Not just about how to throw a football (a skill I may never perfect), or that my nephew is smart (I already knew that), but about how to make my creative journey more worthwhile and meaningful to me.

Answer: By asking the right questions.

1. Why am I doing this?

I probably ask myself this question every day in a hundred different ways about a hundred different things. Why am I doing all this extra work for a client who couldn’t care less? Why am I sitting when I should stand or walk? Why am I eating these potato chips instead of the full bag of carrot sticks in my fridge? 

Why do I write?

It’s that last one that gets me every time. Why, indeed. Some days writing is a soul crushing, gut wrenching activity that makes me want to bang my head against the wall while simultaneously snapping a rubber band against my wrist. It’s fun in the same way missing the last train out of the city is fun, when your only two options are to dig deep for a ridiculously expensive Uber fare or spend the night at a friend’s place on a futon that joined the Beds of Fame in 2005. 

I’m kidding. But not really…

I write because I can’t not write. I write because it’s how I understand the world and my place in it. Perhaps it’s the same for you, or maybe it’s different. Maybe you create because having and achieving goals lights you up. Maybe you create to escape, or to make a statement, or to help yourself or someone else. Or maybe just because you’re good at it. Whatever that something is – know it, internalize it, believe in it. If you can’t answer this question right now about that thing you do, then think about it. You know why you get out of bed every morning, but what’s the reason behind the reason, and how does it serve you?

2. What do I need?

If you Google “self-care,” you’ll get over a billion results. About 5,230,000,000 to be exact. At least, that’s the count at the time I’m writing this post. There are actually so many results that Google has to display “About” in the front of this number, just to be safe. 

I would find this funny if it wasn’t so disturbing that we – as a society – need five billion reminders to take care of ourselves. Any creative endeavor is a journey and, just like you wouldn’t head out on a five-mile hike without at least one bottle of water, you can’t expect to reach the pinnacle of creativity without taking a few breaks. It’s the awareness of this that’s most important. Now that you’ve made this commitment to yourself and your art, how do you fill your cup so you can continue to climb?

Is it simply time and space to work? A mentor or coach to hold you accountable? Do you want your husband or wife to take the kids bowling on Saturdays so that you can relax in the tub and daydream? If you can’t be honest about this, your art will suffer. Who you are when you’re not creating is just as important as you, the artist. 

For me, it’s Netflix on weekday evenings when my brain stops firing, and at least two hours to myself on Sunday afternoons to rest, read, or have a cup of coffee in the sunshine. If I have at least those two things, I’m a happy gal!  

3. What else can I learn?

Learn. Grow. Achieve. Even though that sounds a little like three stages of a marketing funnel, it’s still relevant. Albert Einstein once famously said, “once you stop learning you start dying.” We are constantly learning, or at least we should be. I’ve been writing consistently for over ten years and I’m still overwhelmed every day by all the stuff I don’t know about this craft. 

Which is why I’m splitting my time right now between researching publishers to query and taking a couple of writing courses – something I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t done in a few years. It was a goal of mine this year, along with reading more (and more widely), beginning to outline my next piece (in progress), and learning to curb my impatient, emotional responses to others in moments of extreme stress (jury’s still out). 

What are you doing right now to improve your craft? What could you be doing? My financial planner tells me it’s a good idea to diversify and I think that should extend to other areas of my life. Sometimes it’s as simple (or difficult) as finally finding the nerve to contact the artist you admire and ask them out for a cup of coffee. I love finding out more about another writer’s process. Stay curious. Every once in a while I work something new into my routine and, even though not everything sticks, I’m always glad I tried. You will be too. 

4. Who can I help?

Even after years of working at this, I still consider myself a “new” writer. It could be because I don’t write full time, or because I haven’t yet published my novel, but there are days (many of them) when I still feel very much like I’m treading water in the deep end. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you, too, feel like an amateur in a world of savants. Because listing all the reasons I feel this way feels more like a therapy session than a blog post, I won’t indulge myself here and instead I’ll skip to the part where I explain the importance of paying encouragement forward. 

I am beyond grateful for the advice and support of more seasoned writers and authors I’ve connected with over the years. Most don’t know how much it means to a new writer to have a friend, colleague, or someone with more experience than you offer to critique your work or provide feedback on a query letter. It’s a gift, and one I’ve vowed never to take for granted. 

Look for opportunities to help and support fellow creatives. Even if you’re busy, as we all are, try your best to make the time. You may never know what kind of difference you’ll make in someone else’s life. At least, not until you read their Acknowledgements. 

5. What inspires me?

For some, the answer to this question will come easily. For others, not so much. I’m firmly stuck in the latter category. I’m not completely sure what inspires me to write, but I am sure it’s not just one person, place, or thing. It’s all of them. It’s the prospect of capturing an idea and transforming it from a blank slate into something beautiful. Or, at least, beautiful to me. There’s satisfaction in that, but also in knowing I can find inspiration anywhere, as long as I’m open to the possibility. 

If you’re not sure how to answer this question, pay special attention to what moves you, to what touches your heart, mind, and soul. This is where inspiration lives, in the moments we use all our senses to appreciate the unexpected: 

• The song you danced to with your first love playing on the radio as you drive back to your hometown.
• The wormy scent of the air after it rains.
• The explosion of color on canvas at a pop-up art exhibit in your neighborhood.
• The hot leather of a car seat burning the backs of your thighs. 
• The way chocolate tastes when you eat it first thing in the morning (it really does taste better). 

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Much more and much less than this has inspired me since I became a writer. But maybe there’s no “becoming.” Maybe there’s just us and all the experiences, hopes, and dreams that inspire us to do what we do, despite the odds. 

Yeah…that.

-K